The following are definitions of some medical terms used in this dark profession of Urology.  So dark in fact, that it has been described as the color of a bruised crow at midnight.  Also included are some Gray - isms these are the authors own definitions of some of the terms he has devised after his experiences.  These are written in italics.
Acute  Reaching a crisis rapidly; or suddenly.
 

    Androgen  Any hormone that produces male physical characteristics such as     facial hair and a deep voice.
    Anesthesia  A loss of feeling or sensation in the body.
    Anesthesiologist  A physician trained to provide a pain - free state for        

    patients during surgery.
    Anus  The opening at the lower end of the rectum for the elimination of solid     waste.

    Ampulla  A dilation in a canal or duct.
    Artificial urinary sphincter  A prosthesis designed to restore continence in 

A bad attack of the                                                   an incontinent patient.
      Androgens            Aspiration  The removal of fluids and gases using a suction device.
                                     Aspiration  The hope that some people have of becoming a writer.
Bacterial prostatitus  Infection of the prostate gland caused by bacteria.
Benign  A tumor that is non cancerous and dose not normally threaten a persons life.
Benign prostate hypertrophy ( BHP )  Nonmalignant but abnormal multiplication of the prostate cells.

Biopsy  The removal or harvesting of tissue for microscopic examination to establish a diagnosis.
Bladder  The hollow organ or sack that is used to store urine.
Cancer  A tumor with abnormal cells that grow and divide without control. Cancer cells can spread to other parts of the body and can be fatal if not treated in time.
Capsule  The outer layer of the cells around an organ such as the prostate.
Catheter  A flexible tube that passes through the urethra and into the bladder in order to drain urine.
Catheter  A device designed by a urologist to intimidate patients and to ensure payment for their services.
                    Catscan

 
Cat scan  This is a computerized diagnostic technique that uses X rays to obtain a high resolution image of the body such as the prostate.
Cat .scan  When you can’t find the kitten.
Chemotherapy  A treatment of drugs that attack the cancer cells.
Clinical trials  Studies on patients to determine the effectiveness of new drugs and procdures.
Clinical Trials  Something you experience every time you go to see the urologist.
Cystoscopy  The internal examination of the bladder using        

                                                        cystoscope.
                                                        Cystoscopy  Something to be avoided at all costs.

                   Clinical Trials

Digital rectal examination (DRE)  An examination of the prostate by a doctor using a well lubricated gloved finger inserted into the rectum.  Hint: Get him to use two fingers, then you can get a second opinion for free. 
Ejaculate  To eject sperms and seminal fluid.
Erection  The enlargement of the penis when it becomes filled with blood.
Estrogen  A female sex hormone made in the ovaries.
External radiation therapy  Radiation therapy using rays from a machine directed to specific parts of the body. i.e. the prostate.
External radiation therapy  Using a cell phone for extended periods of time.
False Negative  The erroneous results of a test when it is reported negative.
False negative  Advice from a stockbroker.
False positive  The erroneous results of a test when it is reported positive but is really negative.
False positive  Advice from a lawyer.
Foley catheter  A catheter that is placed into the bladder, and kept in place by inflating a balloon with water.
Foley - Catheter  The wife of the former leader of the House of Representatives?
Genitals  The male and female reproductive organs.
Hematuria  Blood in the urine stream.

Hormone therapy  As used in prostate cancer, the treatment that interferes with the production and or   

           I want to get a second opinion               activity of the male hormones that promote prostate                                                                              cancer growth.
Impotence  The inability to have a natural erection.
Impo-tence  If you live in the South, its anything your wife wants you to do.
Incontinence  Loss of urinary control.
Incontinence  This means that you are not at sea. But you are standing on one of the five largest land masses.
Interstitial radiation therapy  Treatment with high energy radiation from tiny radioactive seeds inserted into the prostate gland.
Luteinizing hormone  This hormone, called LH, is secreted by the pituitary gland.  It stimulates the secretion of sex hormones in both men and women.
Lymph  A nearly clear liquid collected from tissues around the body and returned to the blood stream by the lymphatic system.  
Lymphatic System  Vessels that carry lymph are part of the system.  Other parts include lymph nodes and several organs that produce and store infection fighting cells.
Lymph nodes  Small bean shaped structures throughout the body that act as filters to filter out bacteria and cancer cells that travel through the lymphatic system.  They are often a common site for cancer to spread.
Male hormones  Substance produced by the testes and other glands that are responsible for the male sexual characteristics.
Malignant  A cancerous tumor that threaten a person’s life.
Metastases cancer  A cancer that has spread from the original organ to another part of the body.
Needle biopsy  Specimens of tissue optioned ( harvested ) using a special needle.
Nocturia  Awakened at night by the desire to urinate.
 
Nodule  A small lump, generally malignant.  This is not to be confused with the Chinese noodle.  
Oncologist  A specialist in the treatment of cancer.
Orchiectomy  The surgical removal of the testicles, the major source of the male hormones.
Orgasm  The climax of the sexual  act.
Pathologist  A specialist in the diagnosis of disease by studying cells and tissues with a microscope.
              A Nodule                Pathologist  Someone who designs and builds roads.
                                              Penile prosthesis  A material that is inserted into the spongy area of the                                               penis so as to make the penis rigid enough for vaginal penetration.
Perineal prostatectomy  An operation to remove the prostate through an incision made in the perineum, the area between the scrotum and the anus.
Pituitary gland  A small gland located at the base of the brain.  It produces a variety of the hormones that stimulate the testicles.
Potency  The ability for a man to achieve and maintain an erection sufficient for vaginal penetration.
 
Proctalgia Fugax  The literal translation from Latin means “A fleeting pain in the arse”.  Having been a victim to this occurrence, the author can attest to the accuracy of this translation.
Prostate  The prostate gland is about the size of a walnut or a squash ball. It surrounds the neck of the bladder at one end of the urethra.  It secretes fluid that is part of the semen.
Prostatectomty  The surgical removal of the prostate.
Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA)  A substance in the blood that often increases in the cases of prostate cancer and other prostate related diseases.  This is not to be confused with BSA  ( The Birmingham Small Arms Co. )  a manufacture of motor cycles and guns.   
Radiation therapy  A treatment using energy rays such as those from x - rays or other sources of radiation.
Radical prostatectomy  See Prostatectomy.                  
Rectum  The last few inches of the intestine to the outside of the body.
Resection (transurethral)  The removal of obstructive BPH prostate tissue done through the urethra.  
Retropubic prostatectomy  The operation to remove the prostate gland through an incision made in the lower part of the abdomen.
        Proctalgia Fugax            Scan  Computerized picture of an organ such as the prostate.
                                              Scrotum  The external sac or pouch, containing the testicles.
 
Semen  A thick whitish liquid that contains spermatozoa.  It is mixed with secretions from the prostate.
Seminal vesicles  Pouches above the prostate that store semen.
Spermatozoa  Male cells produced by the testicles capable of fertilizing the ovum, the female sex cell.
Spermatozoa  When semen drops on your toes.
Sphincter  The ring like muscle that a man voluntarily contracts to shut off his urinary system.

Sphincter  A famous structure in Egypt build next to the pyramids.
Spongy bodies  The two corpora cavernosa, which are the structures                  Spermatozoa             within the penis that become enlarged with blood during an erection.
                                              Stage  A term used to describe the size and extent of the spread of        

                                              cancer.
Stage (Special)  A section in a car rally were the winner covers the distance in the least amount of time.
Sterile  Unable to produce children.
Testicles  The two egg-shaped glands that produce sperm and the sex hormones.  Also known as testes.
Testosterone  The male sex hormone produced mainly by the testicles, stimulates a man’s sexual activity and the growth of other sex organs including the prostate.
Tissue  A group of cells organized to perform a specific function.
Tumor  An excessive growth of cells resulting from uncontrolled cell replacement.  Tumors can be either benign or malignant.
 
Ultrasound  A computer image that uses high-frequency sound waves to examine parts of the body such as the prostate.
Ultrasound  Comes from the high performance amplifiers produced by my good friends at QSC.
Ureter  The tube that carries urine from the kidneys to the bladder.
Urethra  The tube running through the penis from the bladder to the outside of the body.
Urine  The waste fluid excreted by the kidneys and stored in the bladder and expelled through the urethra.
Urologist  A specialist in the diseases of the male sex organs and in the diseases of the urinary organs in both men and women.
Watchful waiting  When a prostate cancer is simply watched by the doctor.

                       Ultrasound